When confronted with a perceived personal problem, most of us are hardwired to mull it over until we feel completely trapped in our own minds. We go down a rabbit hole and find ourselves experiencing the same adverse effects one experiences when placed in solitary confinement. And the longer we stay there, the more helpless we feel.
How can you avoid this sense of purgatory and find the solution to your problem(s)?
Have a conversation with yourself. Out loud.
There are several studies on how prisoners placed in solitary confinement manage to stay sane by talking or singing to themselves. Hollywood used this concept in the film Cast Away by making a volleyball (“Wilson”) Tom Hanks’s confidant when his character, Chuck Noland, was stranded on an island:
“We just might make it. Did that ever cross your mind? Well, regardless, I would rather take my chance out there on the ocean than to stay here on this island spending the rest of my time talking to…a volleyball!”
According to Dr. Jerry Saliman, a retired physician in San Francisco, such survival instincts hold scientific merit. Saliman says the activity of singing in the shower helps improve one’s brain functionality, respiratory health, cortisol levels, immunity, and pain threshold (by releasing endorphins).*
Simply put: Talking to oneself has its benefits.
So while we at MindEquity International are proponents of journaling, today we’re going to suggest putting your pen down and channeling your inner coach by asking yourself (and then answering) the following questions proposed by Dr. Helmstetter in his book Who Are You Really And What Do You Want?
Aloud…
Maybe even in the shower. Or to an inanimate object. Your choice.
The Questions.
(The questions are written in second-person as if you were a coach asking them; however, you can ask yourself these questions in first-person as well.)
- How are you doing this week?
- Do you feel you’re on target and doing the right things? (Are you doing the things you’d like to be doing?)
- Is there anything you should be doing that you’re not doing?
- If there is any one thing that might be holding you back or getting in the way of you reaching your goals right now, what would it be?
- What goals did you clearly identify to work on this past week?
- How did you do on each of them?
- Is there anything you wanted to accomplish in the past week that you did not accomplish?
- What would you like to do about that?
- Did you learn anything this past week that can help you reach any of your goals?
- What goals would you like to focus on next?
- What, if anything, is keeping you from reaching any of those goals?
- What will you do to deal with the obstacles to help you reach the goal(s)?
- How would you rate your attitude right now? (And why?)
- How is your focus?
- What is one thing you could do right now to get more focused, get on track, and get motivated?
- What will you do about that?
- How do you feel about yourself when you’re accomplishing something you want to accomplish?
- How do you feel about yourself right now?
- What is one thing you could do in the next week that would help you move forward?
- What will you do about that?
- Is there anything else you’d like to talk about that we haven’t covered here?
The answer lies within.
It feels good to be heard, doesn’t it—to sort things out at a pace a pen wouldn’t be able to keep up with? Did you feel a shift in your energy? Find clarity? Confuse your dog?
Much attention is given to our internal self-talk and how to eliminate self-limiting beliefs. But conversing with ourselves out loud also has advantages. By doing so, you get to the heart of an immediate problem, and, oftentimes, come up with immediate solutions.
The best part is—any time you feel stuck, you can call upon your personal coach (you), and do this exercise to move forward. It’s one way a good outside coach (*shameless plug*) helps keep you moving toward your goals.
Try it and let us know how things worked out!
*“Health Benefits of Singing in the Shower” by Cara Jernigan, Incadence, March 6, 2021
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